Shocking news. Another trophy wife has been accused of being secretive with her assets. The weird thing is Shaq pulls in about $20 Million a year (like whatever, who doesn't) and they have a ''Cohabitation/Prenuptial Agreement and Acknowledgment of Property Disclosure and Waiver of Further Disclosure''.
Since we can barely afford the hosting fees for this site, we definitely don't have any legal advice and none of us finished high school so we can't even tell you what that means. So we all sat around today and tried to stumble through the big words. Here's our expert analysis:
Apparently Shaunie O'Neal has been ''secretive about her assets . . . particularly with respect to certain properties owned or titled in either [her] name alone or in other entities.''
Translation: Shaq is pissed off that his wife won't tell him what she's doing. But isn't it her money? You signed the thing, that complicated sounding thing up there.
Also, Shaq wants her to give a ''correct accounting of all money, funds, stocks, bonds, and other securities (including bearer securities)'' that she came into during the marriage.
Translation: I wanna know what she was doing and she won't tell meeeee!
Shaq wants Shaunie to be the "primary residential custodian'' and wants "'liberal rights of visitation"
Translation: You take the kids, I'll drop by whenever I want.
That's about as good we get on a good day and today was a good day.
The Atlanta Falcons today released the following statement about an indefinite suspension for our favorite brutal animal torturer - Michael Vick:
"Today, Michael Vick admitted his guilt to very serious charges related
to his earlier indictment. His admissions describe actions that are
incomprehensible and unacceptable for a member of the National Football
League and the Atlanta Falcons."
"We respect and support the
Commissioner's decision today to place Michael Vick on an indefinite
suspension. As with other actions he has taken this year, the
Commissioner is making a strong statement that conduct which tarnishes
the good reputation of the NFL will not be tolerated."
"We hope
that Michael will use this time, not only to further address his legal
matters, but to take positive steps to improve his personal life."
Our sources close to the NFL tell us this is the beginnings of a lifetime NFL playing ban. This is probably a good thing since the most disturbing thing about this case is that Michael Vick admitted to torturing and killing dogs but would not admit to gambling.
A gambling related charge would give Michael Vick an automatic lifetime ban but animal cruelty and torture would apparently give him another shot of playing in the National Football League. Looks like the ethics code in the NFL might need a little bit of a review since according to the NFL - gambling bad, torture...eh, not so bad.
Sources are flooding us today with rumors
about your favorite animal abuser and mine: Michael Dick er Vick.
We mean Vick, any word plays would be highly unprofessional and
certainly beneath our journalistic integrity.
Our sources have been contacting us since very late last at our
worldwide headquarters with the following rumors:
Although the NFL is going to allow Vick to play there is a very
real possibility that he will be suspended from professional
football indefinitely.
Nike has stopped the release of any Michael Dick er Vick (sorry,
typos abound today) endorsed material and are considering pulling
his contract all together. We are at a loss as to how an animal
abusing idiot would not be a great complement to the Nike brand.
Animal rights advocates PETA said they would picket National
Football League headquarters to demand that Vick be suspended.
Being picketed isn't only great for business it's GREAT branding
for the NFL since sport is the best way to build character in our
youth, our future leaders.
The Atlanta Falcons may simply release Michael Vick due to a wicked
backlash from their fans, who are now embarassed to be Atlanta
Falcons fans. Release him, get rid of him this guy is not only a
liability he's a complete douche bag!
Michael Vick was a heavyweight in the world of illegal dogfighting.
To quote from ESPN:
"He's a pit bull fighter," the source said of Vick. "He's one of
the ones that they call 'the big boys': that's who bets a large
dollar. And they have the money to bet large money. As I'm talking
about large money -- $30,000 to $40,000 -- even higher. He's one
of the heavyweights."
Even more:
"Then he started, you know, waving money," the source said. "He
was betting with everybody … He said he got $5,000. He said
he's betting on his animal."
Well it looks like we may have a new favorite in house here at Gossip Highway. While it's true that our favorite train wreck beauty of all Lindsay Lohan has been awfully quiet these days - we have still been waiting patiently. Lo and behold look what happens!
Definitely a confirmed rumor, our favorite sideline reporter Alycia Lane has caught her husband Rich Eisen trading some heavily suggestive emails and getting some hot bikini shots in their spousal email.
We didn't want to assume that easy women were also dumb (that's just not politically correct) - but we are talking about a girl like Alycia Lane who went to Monaco and wrapped her arms around the prince among other heavily suggestive. So she's relatively cute, easy, not that clever with a very screwed up moral compass.
Eh so we lie once in a while - Global Debt problems are not great but hey this may take our mind off of that for a bit.
What else can we say about this? Except that a figure 4 leglock from sounds pretty good, how about a sleeper Ashley? Sorry ladies, the boys took over in the officee on this one. Although we would agree that her outfit looks so good. We also hope that she likes unicorns and rainbows - otherwise she may have to kick their f&*%ing a****s as well.
Um great - ear rings *gulp* .... need a minute alone here, does anyone have toilet paper?
Definitely a confirmed rumor, our favorite sideline reporter Alycia Lane has caught her husband Rich Eisen trading some heavily suggestive emails and getting some hot bikini shots in their spousal email.